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Showing posts from February, 2020

Beloved Darkness

how I loved your light
when we where young and bright and lived without boundaries
our hearts and minds wild
like birds soaring high up in the sky

but years have passed
since I last touched your face, your gracious smile
memories have slowly become fractured
like faded photographs

come kiss my hollowing cheek
break the last boundary there is to break
the sadness in my eyes finally erased
Beloved Darkness, take me home
I am yours to keep

those we love are kept ever so close

for our heart is an amulet

which locks them within

forever en ever

wherever - whenever


where sea kisses the land
and water mirrors the heavens
winged wonders fly, like miracles

how I wish to follow where they go
to dream without boundaries
to soar high into the ever changing sky

but I am grounded, watching in awe
how perfect yet fragile all around us is
the little things a birds-eye view might miss

we register, but often lack to really see
to pause and take in the power of earth’s plenty

walk with me a while and quietly watch
feel the real worth of all around us

realise and accept the simple truth
we are merely a small part of a whole

where desolation knows her name
    she walks with hesitant steps
    and faint breath
    she does not remember
    nor can she forget

Death follows where she goes
a shadow without a sun

she's been lost for too long
humming a hauntingly sad
but beautiful song

Solitary Tree

in the early morning hours
as the fog still
tenderly kisses the fields
solitary tree remembers so many days past

the burden of ages lie heavy on gnarly branches
memories rooted deep into the earth
bark touched by many hands from long gone lovers

it even remembers us
-our quarrels
-our laughter
-our lovemaking in the grass

tonight I shall return to where we began
underneath this ancient tree
I shall rest and reminisce
shall watch the stars, and sleep deeply at last

he knew she was feral
the fierceness in her eyes
the way she clawed at him
but the sweet taste of her lovely lips
he just could not resist

ancient road leads to the sweetest loss
a lovely lass lain to rest
buried beneath stones and moss

and as this day is ending
the night is a mere breath away
already whispering
like leaves on a breeze
bedtime stories

so many words
        whispered with wanting
so many dreams
        destroyed by death

she now cherishes a sadness
the little pieces of life he left behind

a photograph
a letter
a song they once sung together

breathing in the salty air
trying to catch the breeze with brazen hands

selfishly seeking for all things that are you
I dig, I find, I grab, I reject

there is a hunger in me
a hole hidden within my soul

why won't you satisfy me

Lief dagboek

Ik zie scharrelende waterkanten; de oevers verkennen het land
en strelen lieflijk het gras met natte vinders. Onze sporen
in het zand vergeten de lucht te dragen
van de grauwe hemel die de vorm van mijn wolken afwees.

Blauw adem ik het leven in tussen de witte muren,
waar van achter glas vreemde blikken naar binnen kijken,
en met weifelende handen.

Jij speelt onder mijn bed en vouwt spoken in het matras.
Ik lach hardop. Nee,
ik hoef nog niet te slapen. Ik hou van je,
want ik hou van je.

Handafdrukken, bandafdrukken, randafdrukken,
allemaal op onzichtbaar papier.

Ik schets de waarheid op je belijnde gezicht
en beschrijf in woorden wat ik daarbuiten zie.
Jij praat met me en zet er je kanttekeningen bij.
Wij hebben geen geheimen voor elkaar.

Wat ik niet meer zie

we are strangers
yet the same cobblestone streets remember our steps

across the years we've almost met
many times
I may have seen your smile

amongst the bones  of our loved ones we'll rest
at last
we might share memories

too many voices inside her head
too many things said
but not meant

she smiles while she drowns
deep cuts won't bleed
while white sheets pretend
she's fine
she's always been fine

never mind the mess
they made

hi, how are you

I will find my way
... just let me wander for a while

I know I don't seem that sane
I say the wrong things
I do stupid things
I dream during the day

but I am fine
all my faults are mine
all mistakes mine to make

... just let me wander for a while

I will eventually find my way

many, many years ago, but not enough
      never enough hours in a single day

you went
and we watched you slip away


I mourn the moments we never got to have
the birthdays
the see you tomorrows

I miss you still mum

I take shelter inside my shattered soul
wealth of old can be traced all along my broken walls
      silver lines chasing golden shadows

paint every perfect scar within in your radiant hue
hold on to me
   I like
               letting go

Quotation from Virginia Woolf

“And all the lives we ever lived and all the lives to be are full of trees
and changing leaves.”

― Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse