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Showing posts from February, 2020

Beloved Darkness

how I loved your light when we where young and bright and lived without boundaries our hearts and minds wild like birds soaring high up in the sky but years have passed since I last touched your face, your gracious smile memories have slowly become fractured like faded photographs come kiss my hollowing cheek break the last boundary there is to break the sadness in my eyes finally erased Beloved Darkness, take me home I am yours to keep

those we love are kept ever so close for our heart is an amulet which locks them within forever en ever wherever - whenever


where sea kisses the land and water mirrors the heavens winged wonders fly, like miracles how I wish to follow where they go to dream without boundaries to soar high into the ever changing sky but I am grounded, watching in awe how perfect yet fragile all around us is the little things a birds-eye view might miss we register, but often lack to really see fail to pause and take in the power of earth’s plenty walk with me a while and quietly watch feel the real worth of all around us realise and accept the simple truth we are merely a small part of a whole

where desolation knows her name     she walks with hesitant steps     and faint breath     she does not remember     nor can she forget Death follows where she goes a shadow without a sun she's been lost for too long humming a hauntingly sad but beautiful song

Solitary Tree

in the early morning hours as the fog still tenderly kisses the fields a solitary tree remembers so many days past the burden of ages lie heavy on gnarly branches memories rooted deep into the earth bark touched by many hands from long gone lovers     it even remembers us -our quarrels -our laughter -our lovemaking in the grass     tonight I shall return to where we began underneath this ancient tree I shall rest and reminisce I shall watch the stars, and sleep deeply at last  

he knew she was feral the fierceness in her eyes the way she clawed at him but the sweet taste of her lovely lips he just could not resist

ancient road leads to the sweetest loss a lovely lass lain to rest buried beneath stones and moss

and as this day is ending the night is a mere breath away already whispering like leaves on a breeze bedtime stories

so many words         whispered with wanting so many dreams         destroyed by death she now cherishes a sadness the little pieces of life he left behind a photograph a letter a song they once sung together

breathing in the salty air     greedily trying to catch the breeze with brazen hands selfishly seeking for all things that are you I dig, I find, I grab, I reject there is a hunger in me a hole hidden within my soul why won't you satisfy me

Lief dagboek

Ik zie scharrelende waterkanten; de oevers verkennen het land en strelen lieflijk het gras met natte vingers. Onze sporen in het zand vergeten de lucht te dragen van de grauwe hemel die de vorm van mijn wolken afwees. Blauw adem ik het leven in tussen de witte muren, waar van achter glas vreemde blikken naar binnen kijken, meewarig en met weifelende handen. Jij speelt onder mijn bed en vouwt spoken in het matras. Ik lach hardop. Nee, ik hoef nog niet te slapen. Ik hou van je, want ik hou van je. Handafdrukken, bandafdrukken, randafdrukken, vervagende-voetstappen-in-het-zand-afdrukken, vlijmscherpe-valse-tandafdrukken; allemaal op onzichtbaar papier. Ik schets de waarheid op je belijnde gezicht en beschrijf in woorden wat ik daarbuiten zie. Jij praat met me en zet er je kanttekeningen bij. Wij hebben geen geheimen voor elkaar.

Wat ik niet meer zie

we are strangers yet the same cobblestone streets remember our steps across the years we've almost met many times I may have seen your smile amongst the bones  of our loved ones we'll rest at last we might share memories

too many voices inside her head too many things said but not meant -interference she smiles while she drowns deep cuts won't bleed while white sheets pretend she's fine she's always been fine never mind the mess they made hi, how are you

I will find my way ... just let me wander for a while I know I don't seem that sane I say the wrong things I do stupid things I dream during the day but I am fine all my faults are mine all mistakes mine to make ... just let me wander for a while I will eventually find my way

today many, many years ago, but not enough       never enough hours in a single day you went and we watched you slip away slowly            suddenly I mourn the moments we never got to have the birthdays the see you tomorrows I miss you still mum    always

I take shelter inside my shattered soul wealth of old can be traced all along my broken walls       silver lines chasing golden shadows                          faux paint every perfect scar within in your radiant hue hold on to me    I like                letting go

Quotation from Virginia Woolf

“And all the lives we ever lived and all the lives to be are full of trees and changing leaves.” ― Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse