my heart - slowly, carefully healing cracked torn to pieces again what reality heals what has always been, but hidden congealed tears in my lungs I drown, like you drown in the poison you chose red like blood so much I would like to be your raft - your buoy but you don't swim - you sink like you are too heavy and only cry out I submerge beneath the water surface water mourn what is and what may come let go they say I have to let go and let you go damn it - swim