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Showing posts from January, 2020

let me not deliver just dreams to the innocent ones
for I am tired

imagine the unsaid truths with words; their tendrils woven into the fabric of time

express what is hidden inside of you

I was king and queen
my voice echoed inside your minds

speak of me
sweet poetry

I stand frozen, will my heart to stop it's frantic beating
but it doesn't

in my dreams I've met you a thousand times
and every single time I felt lost and found

I know you, yet I don't
we are of the same blood
face to face we mirror one another
we are different, yet we are one

across the pond
once lavish green - now grey
ancient magic

she fluidly makes her way into the crowd
solitary movement

where she steps they part like water
leaving a vacant space for her to embrace

she is, but isn't there
like a silent echo of a sound

hope causes a vision of a future that may or never be
fear does exactly the same

hate & love exist only in the here & now

we decide which vision we choose
and we decide which feeling we follow

I hope for love
and I love but I fear
but above all
- I refuse to hate

the night is already old
its bones brittle and its breath ragged

we both lie awake, cold
our bodies tangled together
but our hearts far apart

how did we come to this
when did we miss the signs that indicated a goodbye

I love you
and you love me
there's just no we anymore

December meeting
black birds perch above white snow
bare branches bend
crows gathering in a tree
some lively conversations

you were a collector, a creator

you gathered twigs and chestnuts, stones covered in moss

you sat at your desk, quietly watching all the little things
piecing them together in your mind

I would have loved to look inside your beautiful head
like these bookends you made

up in the heavens
chaotic constellations
but stars know their place
a certain symmetry lost
still planets circle their sun

she hopes
that by not eating
her mind can silence the voices
screaming at her internally

to fade
to become less
the solution

we are mere shadows
within loneliness entwined

dancing in the dark
my heart shuns the light
how I yearn for but still flee from the sun

I warned you
your love would go to waste
but in your haste you only saw an impossible possibility

I am broken
don't become broken like me

Icelandic moods: While this way

While this way - Árstíðir 🎢

I recently went to a concert with a friend of mine and was introduced to the music of Árstíðir, an Icelandic band. I instantly bought their CD Nivalis.

Their music is a bit melancholic, just the way I like it, and their voices are beautiful together. The song I like the most from that CD is the first one on it: While this way. The lyrics for me remind me of a sad mood everyone experiences once in a while. The feeling that everything is not as it should be and the powerlessness to change it.


Oh I am the way I am
I give and borrow
Always am the way I am
While sitting next to you
I’ll find a way, I’ll find a way
I always manage
I’ll find a way, I’ll find a way
Get pulled in back to you
Pulled in back to you

I’m falling off the edge of the world
You’re the one who’s checking out
And runs for cover
Understand the way that I feel
This ain’t the way things should be now
Or for years to follow

Now you understand the way I am
You know I’ll follow
Hanging on …

I wanted to ask whether you liked watching clouds drift by.
But I stood silent, watching you.
I wanted to touch you, to feel if you were really real.
But I stood still, watching you.
I wanted to inhale your scent, the essence of you.
But I stood breathless, watching you.
I stood watching you from a distance.
I could not go near, for I feared the truth and I still fear.
I was never good at saying goodbye.
You are not dead.
With my eyes closed, I am watching you, still.

on these dark waters
we are but passing ships
we meet
we greet
we say goodbye

we are strangers yet kindred souls
we love how the wind overtakes us
how it makes us rush into the unknown

I follow the North Star
anywhere but here
you follow the sun
anywhere but there

early morning mist
walking through deserted streets
winter's breath wakes me

I walk
within worlds between worlds

I am divergent

truth can be hidden within falsehood
evil can be concealed as good

how humanity fails
and how reality is nothing more than a fantasy
created by our minds

but what of our hearts

woke up in sweat soaked sheets
nightmares ruled again
I saw you standing there
ghostly pale
felt your lingering touch
which was never even real

though here
- walking beside you
I fear I will never be able to cross
this distance between us
without you

read to me a while
from the pages of my book
weave in some dragons
and a knight in shining armor
rewrite for me my ending
into a happily ever after

it gives and it takes
a river does not just run
life and death are one

we could stay here
huddled together
like blind birds
day and night would be the same
an absence of darkness and light

we'd manage
just fine

in the dead of winter
I feel like the small flickering of candles
afraid of the cold breeze
tend to my flames
keep me safe and warm

Writing and reading make me feel so much more, than living in the real world could ever do.

O, if only I could live in stories. I'd be truly alive, for sure.

how our words are mistaken for meaning
    we walk between the lines
and empty dots mark unfinished sentences

               we are no poets

read what's not been written

untold stories are the most pure of them all

water runs slowly
a playground for dragonflies
creek filled with wet stones

met haar ogen gesloten
kon niemand anders haar zien
ze was er niet
niet echt
ingebeelde veiligheid

with her eyes closed
no one else could see her
she wasn't there
not really
imaginary safety

she's all
black holes & white matter
such beautiful chaos
gravity calls
she's worth the risk to fall for

I might be tempted to kiss you.

let us meet among the stars
dance barefoot
my sun
are my muse
center of my universe

kat staart naar buiten
een regenachtige dag
geen muisjes vandaag

the cat stares outside
it's a grey and rainy day
no mice for breakfast

numb but trembling
calm but terribly scared
long ago, tomorrow was but a dream
a day at a time
love was love forever
our past accumulated
but our future may never be mine

I can't fathom it
but yet I can
for I must

I hope there is hope
yet love still lingers

cracks in the concrete
grasshoppers race butterflies
         the old road - sidetracked
I retrace my steps
         everything just keeps moving

watch me dance while I slip the night into the folds of our sin
stars and bare skin move like planets around a central point
where we converge

how we breathe dreams
and taste like new made memories
~ sweet

snuggle against me
the world can wait, little one
come, dream peacefully

tomorrow you'll venture out
but I'll keep you safe tonight

Quotation from John Green

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

hello moonlight
light of night and dark desire

I know the stars by name
I've counted them
drawn my own constellations

the flaws, the faults
there are no angels up in the heavens
no halo's or wings

just infinite dying suns
life is simply the stage before oblivion

He smiles at her, revealing perfect, pearly teeth. He has a gorgeous mouth, set in a gorgeous face. Her train of thought escapes. What he could do to her with those well curved lips. Nip at her bottom lip with his teeth. She bites her own lip and her face flushes.

how unfathomably unfair:
to start to love, only to lose it far too soon

 he smiled a sad smile

life isn't meant to be fair, it is meant to be lived
and to live it, means to have to die
even if too young

though our love was briefly felt
it was fierce
we were brief, but fierce