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my mirror never did show
the me I so desperately wished to be
but the ghost of a girl I once thought I knew
with raven-dark hair
and eyes staring into the hollow of my soul

while others ~ with rosy cheeks and golden hair
so fair
't was so unfair
smiled always ~ ever so brightly
and strode always ~ ever so lightly

what mistake made me ~ what fault in my stars
what reason for this treason

my mind raging against the light of day
hiding away my heart in the night
~ broken at the beginning
~misshapen from the start


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A sad song: Streets of Philadelphia

Streets of Philadelphia - Bruce Springsteen 🎶

This is a song that for me is not only linked with the movie Philadelphia. It is also linked with the feeling of being lost, feeling like you are almost invisible, like you do not matter at all to anyone, especially to you yourself. That's why for me this song is so very sad, but strangely enough it also gives me strength, even hope. At the times when I feel lost and very negative about myself, it makes reflect on what I do have, a home, loved ones, security, a future. And even if I can't touch any positive feelings at that moment, I can keep holding on to the knowledge that I do have those things, I just need to find my way back out of the black cloud that surrounds me. This song makes me cry, but that's okay. Those are tears I need to shed anyway to resurface again. 


I was bruised and battered, I couldn't tell what I felt.
I was unrecognizable to myself.
Saw my reflection in a window and didn't know my own face…


high up on the hill
young dryad stands alone
white flowers at her roots
as beautiful but still

she's yearning to be free
to walk the earth like others
to take part in the magic
with her sisters and brothers

the art of transformation
is all she has to learn
to turn into an woman
'till then she'll be half tree

Vlucht in fantasie

deze stilte wrikt
mijn huid stuk als glas geslagen scherven scherp
hier ~ snij de levenslijn in mijn palm bloedeloos bleek
maar schrij niet om mij ~ lach
ik ben twee zonnen aan de hemel ~ heel intens
geluidloos doch
zwijgend hoor ik je zuchten
in rood gekleurde luchten sein jij mij met witte vlag
echter ik dwaal af en nimmer neer
ik vlucht
in fantasie