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A sad song: Streets of Philadelphia

Streets of Philadelphia - Bruce Springsteen 🎢

This is a song that for me is not only linked with the movie Philadelphia. It is also linked with the feeling of being lost, feeling like you are almost invisible, like you do not matter at all to anyone, especially to you yourself. That's why for me this song is so very sad, but strangely enough it also gives me strength, even hope. At the times when I feel lost and very negative about myself, it makes reflect on what I do have, a home, loved ones, security, a future. And even if I can't touch any positive feelings at that moment, I can keep holding on to the knowledge that I do have those things, I just need to find my way back out of the black cloud that surrounds me. This song makes me cry, but that's okay. Those are tears I need to shed anyway to resurface again. 


I was bruised and battered, I couldn't tell what I felt.
I was unrecognizable to myself.
Saw my reflection in a window and didn't know my own face.
Oh brother are you gonna leave my wastin' away
On the streets of Philadelphia.

I walked the avenue, 'til my legs felt like stone,
I heard the voices of friends, vanished and gone,
At night I could hear the blood in my veins,
It was just as black and whispering as the rain,
On the streets of Philadelphia.

Ain't no angel gonna greet me.
It's just you and I my friends.
And my clothes don't fit me no more,
I walked a thousand miles
Just to slip this skin.

Night has fallen, I'm lyin' awake,
I can feel myself fading away,
So receive me brother with your faithless kiss,
Or will we leave each other alone like this
On the streets of Philadelphia.


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De zon voelt heerlijk warm aan op mijn bleke huid. Goed ingesmeerd met factor 50 en met een grote witte zonnehoed half over mijn gezicht en rode krullen, lig ik bijna volledig ontspannen op het strand samen met mijn beste vriendin Kirsten.
    Deze week vakantie is precies wat ik nodig heb volgens haar. Na het stuklopen van mijn relatie, alweer twee jaar geleden, had ik me volledig om mijn werk gestort. Ik liep de laatste maanden op mijn tandvlees en stond op het punt in te storten. Zonder mijn medeweten had ze deze trip naar Biarritz geboekt en verlof voor mij geregeld op mijn werk. Toen ze me vier dagen geleden vertelde dat we op vakantie zouden gaan, schoot ik in de stress. Alle mitsen en maren die ik uitsprak werden direct van tafel geveegd. Kirsten was resoluut, ik moest naast ontstressen, nodig ontTessen.
    Niet lang geleden had Kirsten nog gegrapt dat ik eens een goede beurt moest krijgen om me weer helemaal op de rails te krijgen.    “Aan mijn lijf geen polonaise, de …

nighttime sounds: an owl in a tree,
wind rustling the remaining leaves
gnarly branches,
black against the moon

the sweetest dreams,
taking residence in my heart

you & I
an impossible possibility
the sheets will not reveal my secrets